Moving

Well, it's time to head out. My wonderful brother has presented me with the gift of technology and I'll now be blogging at www.sarahoreilly.com. Yup, I am dot commed! How neat is that? So, please head on over there if you want to catch up with the goings on of the O'Reilly family. Should be good times! Hope to see you there!

9 years

Tomorrow, Noah and I will celebrate our ninth anniversary. 9 years. Wow. Seems like just yesterday I was being walked down the aisle, dad on one side, mom on the other, both whispering that it wasn't too late to turn back. At the tender age of 20, I didn't know much, but I knew I was headed down that aisle to my future. My love. My soul. I had no reservations, no second thoughts. Only thoughts of my love. My Noah. And I wouldn't turn back for anything. Now, looking back, I have only one thing I'd change. I would have charged down that aisle much sooner than we did.

Throughout our marriage Noah and I have experienced our share of heartache and then some. Many people took pity on us as we began our newly married life with tragedy. I only thought it was such a blessing to be married and able to help Noah through his difficult time. Through that time, and many others, we've held on tight. I am so thankful that we've used our hard times to draw closer together, and not apart. I am so glad that since day one, it's been us against the world. We've held hands and never looked back. For that I am truly grateful. But because most of our marriage has had such hardship, sometimes its easy to overlook all of the joy we've shared. I can remember our second Christmas together. We were preparing to move from our tiny 500 square foot duplex into our first home. We'd decided not to decorate for the holiday since we'd be moving in January. That was the practical decision. The grown up decision. The right decision. Still, the kid in me was a little sad. I didn't say anything, but my love picked up on it. One day close to Christmas I came home from work and arrived to a winter wonderland! Noah had purchased a Christmas tree and all the trimmings and had decked our halls! I will never forget that Christmas, sitting in our tiny place, together, boxes around the house and a full Christmas tree!

Noah is just like that. He's always quietly thinking of me and doing things that make my world so special. Each night still, he gets me a glass of water and grabs my toe sticking out of the bed before getting in himself. Those little actions remind me daily what sort of man I have, and I thank the Lord for him each night.

I remember for our anniversary 2 years ago, we headed down to Brown County for a long weekend. Knowing my love of photography, he brought along my gift. A new to me 35 mm camera and tons of film! While I love digital for its convenience, nothing beats the feel of a real camera in your hands. I took many pictures that weekend. Of Noah. Of what we saw. Of everything. He even told me he'd get my dark room up and running and we could develop them together. So thoughtful is my man!

One very special memory I have is actually a bittersweet one. 2 years ago this past June, Noah and I were in a terrible car accident. The firemen working the scene actually thought our F-350 pick up truck was a Gio Metro when they first pulled up, so mangled it was. That day is forever etched in my mind for a number of reasons. Seeing Noah lying on the ground like that will haunt me for a lifetime. But, several days after our accident, he caught me crying in the shower. I'd hurt my wrist very badly and it was so hard to wash my hair. I didn't complain, just quietly did the best I could night after night. With wounds of his own healing, Noah gently climbed into the shower with me and washed my hair. His tenderness overwhelmed me. I often compare my husband's love to that of Jesus' love for us. So much compassion, so much devotion, so much care. Never asking for anything in return, no strings attached. My husband is such a shining example of Christ's love for us.

And now that he's a father, his love for me only shows more. I am the first one he kisses when he comes home each night, even though there is usually a crawling baby boy headed his way wanting his "dada". And each day when I see him full of tenderness for his son, praying for guidance from the Lord as he raises him, and wanting to be the best father he can, I fall in love even more. I never thought I'd see my husband as a father, and each day it fills my heart even more. I am so happy that the Lord blessed me with a little Noah to raise up just like the big one. I hope he'll be half the man his father is. To me, Noah is perfect. To coin a phrase Sandy says often of her beloved, he isn't perfect, but he's perfect for me.

So now as we head into our ninth year of marriage. Grey hairs starting to emerge, and wrinkles around the corner, I am more in love with Noah than ever! This weekend we'll head to Cincinnati to visit the aquarium and see the parade of penguins. I cannot wait. We'll walk hand in hand, talking, laughing, and inside-joke making. Together, 2 kids very much in love, just like we were 9 years ago.

Moto GP!

Today I indulged in my manly side. I headed off to the Moto GP races with my husband, dad and brother. Grunt. Gideon hung back with grandma. Did I mention how wonderful she is? Moving on. We headed out around 10:30 for a day at the speedway. Honestly, while I was looking forward to a day sans kid, I wasn't quite looking forward to spending the day listening to the dull roar of a bunch of motorcycles and watching them race around a circle a million times. Bo-ring! Or so I thought. We got there and seated in time for the smallest bikes to begin. They sort of whine. It was fun to watch. Then I learned they were going roughly 160 MPH. Wow. And they were all of about 16 or so years old. Double wow. We saw a few crashes and close calls. Ok, kinda fun. By the time the big boys were racing, I was hooked! It was so fun! The best part was being seated to me in about 10 years. This family was there, mom, dad and 11 year old boy. He knew the racers names, their countries of origin, and everything about them. His excitement was contagious. And then I saw mom really getting into it. Clapping, yelling, knowing what was going on. Good for her. I started wondering if she was truly interested, or became interested when her boy decided it was neat. Either way, I was impressed! I began to envision Gideon and I doing neat things together. You know, when he becomes a kid? I imagine there is a world of things I'll become interested in as he grows up. Trains, race cars, football. Wow. And to be honest, I can't wait. I am so looking forward to that time in our lives where we have something we can share together. You know, something that isn't strained peas, which is what we currently share! What a day! Good times. We headed home just in time to meet Grandma on the road with our little guy out for a walk. I hopped out and walked back with them. She filled me in on the day's events for our boy. Naps, blocks, and hugs. And I filled her in on ours. Crashes, speed and crowds. It was one of those easily great days. One where you don't have to try too hard to have a good time. And it was just great! Roar! Grunt! I think I'm beginning to like this manly stuff!

Emma Mae

Yesterday we headed to Carly's mom's house in celebration of a very special event. Emma's first birthday. Wow. Where has the year gone? Seems like yesterday I was waddling over to Carly's to meet Miss Emma for the first time. At 8 pounds, 5 ounces, I thought she was tiny. Boy was I in for a rude awakening! HA! Since conception, Emma's been my measure baby. I'd bounce questions off of Carly who was 2.5 months further along in pregnancy than I was. It was so helpful to know I wasn't going through it alone. And then when Emma was born, she became the milestone baby. I'd ask Carly what she was up to at various times and ask her if what Gideon was doing was normal. Thank goodness for Emma! She, and her mom, saved me a lot of heartache and worry! But what I find most special about Emma is watching her grow, just like Gideon. Watching her little personality start to emerge as she takes on the world. Listening to her jibber jabber is precious, and she's so sweet with everything she does. She is so much all girl compared to my boy. So yesterday, we piled the car with pink packaging and headed to Ginger's to celebrate. I hadn't been to Carly's mom's house since high school probably. And I'm sure we were up to no good the last time I was there! It was fun walking down memory lane in Ginger's big ol' house. Except now it is replaced with photographs of grandchildren where other family photos used to rest. And Ginger herself is still as sweet and wonderful as ever. With a grandmother like that, and mother like Carly, little Emma stands to be one heck of a woman. It was so awesome watching her do so much now. She's walking, fast. And talking up a storm. And she's so darn cute! I love watching her interact with her family. She loves her big brother and sister so much. But man, watching her with them- seems they were that size yesterday. Time doesn't fly, it warp speeds. We purchased several baby appropriate gifts for little Emma, and a special one. A locket. I put both babies pictures in it, silly as it is. I wanted Emma to have something special from her first birthday. I hope one day when she's a bit older, she'll wear the locket and know that there are wonderful friends who think she's quite a special person. And who love her dearly. Some folks joked that she'd wear it at their wedding, hers and Gideon's. We all laughed. Truth is, I never expected to have babies with my best friend, so maybe it could happen? Who knows. I only hope it serves as a reminder to her that all of her hopes and dreams can come true if she works hard, prays harder and has faith. She is a remarkable little girl already, and I can't wait to see where life's journeys take her. I am blessed with a wonderful friend in Carly, and hope Emma finds the same.

Little Lora

I've tried several times to write this blog. But my thoughts become jumbled and they never quite flow right. Hopefully I'll get it this time. Several weeks ago, Gideon, Noah and I had dinner with our most favorite NICU nurse, Little Lora. We met at a Mexican joint near the hospital before her shift. She filled us in on the goings on at ol' Community North, and how some of our other nurse friends were doing. We in turn, showed off the little guy, and filled her in on the chewing, drooling, jabbering, climbing milestones we've been hitting lately. It was a nice visit. After she left, it got me thinking back on our days in the NICU. We saw Lora nearly daily. She was a breath of fresh air in a very lonely place. She is just a wonderful nurse, and I wonder sometimes does she know how special she is to us? I am sure Community is filled with many great nurses, we had a bevy of them ourselves, but Lora was just something else. She was above and beyond, and for that she will always be a good memory from our days there. She told me once that her mom was a nurse. I wasn't surprised. Many lessons she learned didn't come from nursing school. Lora is a wonderful nurse, but what makes her truly special isn't the procedures she can perform, it is the care she shows to her patients and their parents. She always knew just what we needed. She was quick with a joke to lighten the mood. On days when I needed a friend, she was there. Other days when I was angry at the world, Community North, and everyone in it, she silently did her job, making her presence as little known as possible. She caught me crying a handful of times, but never made mention if it. She knew boundaries well, and just knew exactly what we needed her to be at all times. And the care she showed Gideon will forever be with me. Knowing she, and the other nurses, cared so much for our boy, was just humbling. He was not merely a patient in room 6123A, he was Gideon. He was our baby. And he was special. The days after his birth are filled with memories for me. Some good, some bad. Lora is forever in those memories, and she has helped create many of the good ones. It is my hope that she knows what she means to us, and all of her patients in the NICU. The world is a more blessed place with her in it. And I thank God she was there when we needed her.

Channeling my inner Mrs. Leslie

Staying home is hard. Not in the sense that one would think. But in the sense that one can only vacuum one's home so many times without going a little nuts. I tend to err on the side of nuts. Its in my genes. Anyway, I had this wonderful idea the other today to make myself a sling. As everyone who will listen knows, I love my sling. A lot. But it is in a crazy pink pattern and Noah has mentioned on occasion he's afraid Gideon might turn a little sissy being carried around in all that pink. While I disagree with that, I did think that an array of stunning slings is just what I needed! At about $40 a pop, that was just not possible. Enter the project idea- get a sewing machine and make my own! As if I don't have enough to do. But, in my defense, Noah works late a lot and having something to occupy my time once the little one is in bed is appealing. So started the craigslist hunt for a sewing machine. It failed. Thankfully my wonderful mother-in-law also stays home and decided a few years back she needed to get crafty too. She purchased a top o' the line model and let it sit in the box waiting to make all my creative dreams come true. No judgment, I have been known to start projects that never get finished too. I refer to the pie phase, the knitting phase and the painting phase. Yup. No judgment. Moving on. Tonight after the little man was in bed, I had Noah help me get this sucker out and ready to roll, er, sew. That's right, my big, burly husband how to show me how to thread the machine and wind the bobbin. Crushing blow to my domestic goddess side. As he began to instruct me on how to do it (thread in notch 1, around to 2, and so on) I started having flash backs to 7th grade home ecc. I passed with a C. Barely. Mostly due to Mrs. Leslie's belief that every young lady should possess some sort of domestic talent. Somewhere inside, no matter how deep. She never stopped believing mine was just hiding in there. Bless her! So after we got the machine up and running, thoughts of numerous slings filled my mind! Why, I could make bibs too! And curtains for Gideon's room. Maybe a throw pillow or two. As I filled Noah in on all sorts of wonderful projects looming in front of me, I saw him grin. I know that grin. It's the grin he makes when he knows what's really going to happen. He is my biggest supporter and champion. He will gladly listen to me rant and rave about whatever my newest endeavor is, and cheer me on. He is great like that. Maybe there is a sling in my future, maybe not. But tonight, I will dream of homemade goods Mrs. Leslie would be proud to grant an A to. And tomorrow? Well, we'll see. ;-)

What ifs

I received an email the other day from a guy I used to work with. We keep in touch occasionally, so its always good to hear from him. I like hearing about what's going on at the ol' Carl Walker, Inc., where I spent nearly 3 years of my life. Seems as though things are pretty much the same. Ray is... Ray. The guys are super busy. Life goes on. Andy mentioned that Ray'd probably hire me back if I wanted to come back. I'm sure he was mostly joking, but it definitely got the gears turning. When I said goodbye to work Sarah almost one year ago, I pretty much put her away for good. At least for a good 4 or 5 years until Gideon is in school. But the what ifs got me thinking. I loved working, really I did. I enjoyed most every aspect of my job, and did it well. I vividly remember dressing daily for something, each day outfitted in a sassy skirt and top. Matching shoes and purse. The works. I felt good. I felt important. I remember walking in my heels across the marble floor of our office building each morning, coffee in hand, and hearing the click clack of my shoes on the floor. Each click spoke volumes as to me as a person. "I am a working woman. I have a carefree, kid free life. I have disposable income and dinner plans." And each day I'd click clack to the fourth floor and start my day. Until one day the click clacks started echoing something different. Replaced where hollow sounds of "my life is wonderful, why am I not so happy. My husband is great, our life is great, but something is missing." Then along came Gideon. Who knew a 19 pound spitting, crying, climbing, chewing, monster was what was missing? And then giving up the heels, the carefree plans, the long bubble baths whenever I wanted, didn't seem so bad. Most days now I wear flip flops through the house. Each thwarp of my sandal now echos a very different life. "20 minutes until naptime is over, get moving on the chores! No! No! No! said a thousand times. And various kid show theme songs sung over and over in my head, with each step I take. Things are so much different now. At this point in my life I never expected to be a mother. After a few years of trying, I'd pretty much given up. And then along came Gideon and changed everything. I now measure everything by what time naps start and stop. I gauge going out to dinner on many factors now- finances, mood of my kiddo, general loudness of the restaurant we're about to invade. Everything in my life now is carefully planned. It is so much different than it once was. And I wouldn't change it for anything. The highlight of my day is seeing Gideon's smiling face when he wakes up in the morning. There are days that my hair stays in a pony tail and I don't even get coffee. There are days when my outfit is spit up on numerous times, and even times I don't change it. But then there are days when I can tell something has clicked with Gideon and he gets it- learns something new or masters a skill. Those days I feel like I'm on top of the world. Nope. Wouldn't go back to the heels if they doubled my salary. It was a nice week, thinking about what might have been. But there are just too many things I'd miss here to go back. No amount of money or prestige is worth that. When Gideon takes his first steps soon, I want to be there. And when he discovers ice cream, I want to share it with him. One day I know when he laces up his tennies and climbs on that big, yellow bus, I'll know it's time to dust off the heels and head off to click clack. Until then, I'll just thwarp around in my flip flops following an almost toddler around the world as he discovers all it has to offer.