Moving

Well, it's time to head out. My wonderful brother has presented me with the gift of technology and I'll now be blogging at www.sarahoreilly.com. Yup, I am dot commed! How neat is that? So, please head on over there if you want to catch up with the goings on of the O'Reilly family. Should be good times! Hope to see you there!

9 years

Tomorrow, Noah and I will celebrate our ninth anniversary. 9 years. Wow. Seems like just yesterday I was being walked down the aisle, dad on one side, mom on the other, both whispering that it wasn't too late to turn back. At the tender age of 20, I didn't know much, but I knew I was headed down that aisle to my future. My love. My soul. I had no reservations, no second thoughts. Only thoughts of my love. My Noah. And I wouldn't turn back for anything. Now, looking back, I have only one thing I'd change. I would have charged down that aisle much sooner than we did.

Throughout our marriage Noah and I have experienced our share of heartache and then some. Many people took pity on us as we began our newly married life with tragedy. I only thought it was such a blessing to be married and able to help Noah through his difficult time. Through that time, and many others, we've held on tight. I am so thankful that we've used our hard times to draw closer together, and not apart. I am so glad that since day one, it's been us against the world. We've held hands and never looked back. For that I am truly grateful. But because most of our marriage has had such hardship, sometimes its easy to overlook all of the joy we've shared. I can remember our second Christmas together. We were preparing to move from our tiny 500 square foot duplex into our first home. We'd decided not to decorate for the holiday since we'd be moving in January. That was the practical decision. The grown up decision. The right decision. Still, the kid in me was a little sad. I didn't say anything, but my love picked up on it. One day close to Christmas I came home from work and arrived to a winter wonderland! Noah had purchased a Christmas tree and all the trimmings and had decked our halls! I will never forget that Christmas, sitting in our tiny place, together, boxes around the house and a full Christmas tree!

Noah is just like that. He's always quietly thinking of me and doing things that make my world so special. Each night still, he gets me a glass of water and grabs my toe sticking out of the bed before getting in himself. Those little actions remind me daily what sort of man I have, and I thank the Lord for him each night.

I remember for our anniversary 2 years ago, we headed down to Brown County for a long weekend. Knowing my love of photography, he brought along my gift. A new to me 35 mm camera and tons of film! While I love digital for its convenience, nothing beats the feel of a real camera in your hands. I took many pictures that weekend. Of Noah. Of what we saw. Of everything. He even told me he'd get my dark room up and running and we could develop them together. So thoughtful is my man!

One very special memory I have is actually a bittersweet one. 2 years ago this past June, Noah and I were in a terrible car accident. The firemen working the scene actually thought our F-350 pick up truck was a Gio Metro when they first pulled up, so mangled it was. That day is forever etched in my mind for a number of reasons. Seeing Noah lying on the ground like that will haunt me for a lifetime. But, several days after our accident, he caught me crying in the shower. I'd hurt my wrist very badly and it was so hard to wash my hair. I didn't complain, just quietly did the best I could night after night. With wounds of his own healing, Noah gently climbed into the shower with me and washed my hair. His tenderness overwhelmed me. I often compare my husband's love to that of Jesus' love for us. So much compassion, so much devotion, so much care. Never asking for anything in return, no strings attached. My husband is such a shining example of Christ's love for us.

And now that he's a father, his love for me only shows more. I am the first one he kisses when he comes home each night, even though there is usually a crawling baby boy headed his way wanting his "dada". And each day when I see him full of tenderness for his son, praying for guidance from the Lord as he raises him, and wanting to be the best father he can, I fall in love even more. I never thought I'd see my husband as a father, and each day it fills my heart even more. I am so happy that the Lord blessed me with a little Noah to raise up just like the big one. I hope he'll be half the man his father is. To me, Noah is perfect. To coin a phrase Sandy says often of her beloved, he isn't perfect, but he's perfect for me.

So now as we head into our ninth year of marriage. Grey hairs starting to emerge, and wrinkles around the corner, I am more in love with Noah than ever! This weekend we'll head to Cincinnati to visit the aquarium and see the parade of penguins. I cannot wait. We'll walk hand in hand, talking, laughing, and inside-joke making. Together, 2 kids very much in love, just like we were 9 years ago.

Moto GP!

Today I indulged in my manly side. I headed off to the Moto GP races with my husband, dad and brother. Grunt. Gideon hung back with grandma. Did I mention how wonderful she is? Moving on. We headed out around 10:30 for a day at the speedway. Honestly, while I was looking forward to a day sans kid, I wasn't quite looking forward to spending the day listening to the dull roar of a bunch of motorcycles and watching them race around a circle a million times. Bo-ring! Or so I thought. We got there and seated in time for the smallest bikes to begin. They sort of whine. It was fun to watch. Then I learned they were going roughly 160 MPH. Wow. And they were all of about 16 or so years old. Double wow. We saw a few crashes and close calls. Ok, kinda fun. By the time the big boys were racing, I was hooked! It was so fun! The best part was being seated to me in about 10 years. This family was there, mom, dad and 11 year old boy. He knew the racers names, their countries of origin, and everything about them. His excitement was contagious. And then I saw mom really getting into it. Clapping, yelling, knowing what was going on. Good for her. I started wondering if she was truly interested, or became interested when her boy decided it was neat. Either way, I was impressed! I began to envision Gideon and I doing neat things together. You know, when he becomes a kid? I imagine there is a world of things I'll become interested in as he grows up. Trains, race cars, football. Wow. And to be honest, I can't wait. I am so looking forward to that time in our lives where we have something we can share together. You know, something that isn't strained peas, which is what we currently share! What a day! Good times. We headed home just in time to meet Grandma on the road with our little guy out for a walk. I hopped out and walked back with them. She filled me in on the day's events for our boy. Naps, blocks, and hugs. And I filled her in on ours. Crashes, speed and crowds. It was one of those easily great days. One where you don't have to try too hard to have a good time. And it was just great! Roar! Grunt! I think I'm beginning to like this manly stuff!

Emma Mae

Yesterday we headed to Carly's mom's house in celebration of a very special event. Emma's first birthday. Wow. Where has the year gone? Seems like yesterday I was waddling over to Carly's to meet Miss Emma for the first time. At 8 pounds, 5 ounces, I thought she was tiny. Boy was I in for a rude awakening! HA! Since conception, Emma's been my measure baby. I'd bounce questions off of Carly who was 2.5 months further along in pregnancy than I was. It was so helpful to know I wasn't going through it alone. And then when Emma was born, she became the milestone baby. I'd ask Carly what she was up to at various times and ask her if what Gideon was doing was normal. Thank goodness for Emma! She, and her mom, saved me a lot of heartache and worry! But what I find most special about Emma is watching her grow, just like Gideon. Watching her little personality start to emerge as she takes on the world. Listening to her jibber jabber is precious, and she's so sweet with everything she does. She is so much all girl compared to my boy. So yesterday, we piled the car with pink packaging and headed to Ginger's to celebrate. I hadn't been to Carly's mom's house since high school probably. And I'm sure we were up to no good the last time I was there! It was fun walking down memory lane in Ginger's big ol' house. Except now it is replaced with photographs of grandchildren where other family photos used to rest. And Ginger herself is still as sweet and wonderful as ever. With a grandmother like that, and mother like Carly, little Emma stands to be one heck of a woman. It was so awesome watching her do so much now. She's walking, fast. And talking up a storm. And she's so darn cute! I love watching her interact with her family. She loves her big brother and sister so much. But man, watching her with them- seems they were that size yesterday. Time doesn't fly, it warp speeds. We purchased several baby appropriate gifts for little Emma, and a special one. A locket. I put both babies pictures in it, silly as it is. I wanted Emma to have something special from her first birthday. I hope one day when she's a bit older, she'll wear the locket and know that there are wonderful friends who think she's quite a special person. And who love her dearly. Some folks joked that she'd wear it at their wedding, hers and Gideon's. We all laughed. Truth is, I never expected to have babies with my best friend, so maybe it could happen? Who knows. I only hope it serves as a reminder to her that all of her hopes and dreams can come true if she works hard, prays harder and has faith. She is a remarkable little girl already, and I can't wait to see where life's journeys take her. I am blessed with a wonderful friend in Carly, and hope Emma finds the same.

Little Lora

I've tried several times to write this blog. But my thoughts become jumbled and they never quite flow right. Hopefully I'll get it this time. Several weeks ago, Gideon, Noah and I had dinner with our most favorite NICU nurse, Little Lora. We met at a Mexican joint near the hospital before her shift. She filled us in on the goings on at ol' Community North, and how some of our other nurse friends were doing. We in turn, showed off the little guy, and filled her in on the chewing, drooling, jabbering, climbing milestones we've been hitting lately. It was a nice visit. After she left, it got me thinking back on our days in the NICU. We saw Lora nearly daily. She was a breath of fresh air in a very lonely place. She is just a wonderful nurse, and I wonder sometimes does she know how special she is to us? I am sure Community is filled with many great nurses, we had a bevy of them ourselves, but Lora was just something else. She was above and beyond, and for that she will always be a good memory from our days there. She told me once that her mom was a nurse. I wasn't surprised. Many lessons she learned didn't come from nursing school. Lora is a wonderful nurse, but what makes her truly special isn't the procedures she can perform, it is the care she shows to her patients and their parents. She always knew just what we needed. She was quick with a joke to lighten the mood. On days when I needed a friend, she was there. Other days when I was angry at the world, Community North, and everyone in it, she silently did her job, making her presence as little known as possible. She caught me crying a handful of times, but never made mention if it. She knew boundaries well, and just knew exactly what we needed her to be at all times. And the care she showed Gideon will forever be with me. Knowing she, and the other nurses, cared so much for our boy, was just humbling. He was not merely a patient in room 6123A, he was Gideon. He was our baby. And he was special. The days after his birth are filled with memories for me. Some good, some bad. Lora is forever in those memories, and she has helped create many of the good ones. It is my hope that she knows what she means to us, and all of her patients in the NICU. The world is a more blessed place with her in it. And I thank God she was there when we needed her.

Channeling my inner Mrs. Leslie

Staying home is hard. Not in the sense that one would think. But in the sense that one can only vacuum one's home so many times without going a little nuts. I tend to err on the side of nuts. Its in my genes. Anyway, I had this wonderful idea the other today to make myself a sling. As everyone who will listen knows, I love my sling. A lot. But it is in a crazy pink pattern and Noah has mentioned on occasion he's afraid Gideon might turn a little sissy being carried around in all that pink. While I disagree with that, I did think that an array of stunning slings is just what I needed! At about $40 a pop, that was just not possible. Enter the project idea- get a sewing machine and make my own! As if I don't have enough to do. But, in my defense, Noah works late a lot and having something to occupy my time once the little one is in bed is appealing. So started the craigslist hunt for a sewing machine. It failed. Thankfully my wonderful mother-in-law also stays home and decided a few years back she needed to get crafty too. She purchased a top o' the line model and let it sit in the box waiting to make all my creative dreams come true. No judgment, I have been known to start projects that never get finished too. I refer to the pie phase, the knitting phase and the painting phase. Yup. No judgment. Moving on. Tonight after the little man was in bed, I had Noah help me get this sucker out and ready to roll, er, sew. That's right, my big, burly husband how to show me how to thread the machine and wind the bobbin. Crushing blow to my domestic goddess side. As he began to instruct me on how to do it (thread in notch 1, around to 2, and so on) I started having flash backs to 7th grade home ecc. I passed with a C. Barely. Mostly due to Mrs. Leslie's belief that every young lady should possess some sort of domestic talent. Somewhere inside, no matter how deep. She never stopped believing mine was just hiding in there. Bless her! So after we got the machine up and running, thoughts of numerous slings filled my mind! Why, I could make bibs too! And curtains for Gideon's room. Maybe a throw pillow or two. As I filled Noah in on all sorts of wonderful projects looming in front of me, I saw him grin. I know that grin. It's the grin he makes when he knows what's really going to happen. He is my biggest supporter and champion. He will gladly listen to me rant and rave about whatever my newest endeavor is, and cheer me on. He is great like that. Maybe there is a sling in my future, maybe not. But tonight, I will dream of homemade goods Mrs. Leslie would be proud to grant an A to. And tomorrow? Well, we'll see. ;-)

What ifs

I received an email the other day from a guy I used to work with. We keep in touch occasionally, so its always good to hear from him. I like hearing about what's going on at the ol' Carl Walker, Inc., where I spent nearly 3 years of my life. Seems as though things are pretty much the same. Ray is... Ray. The guys are super busy. Life goes on. Andy mentioned that Ray'd probably hire me back if I wanted to come back. I'm sure he was mostly joking, but it definitely got the gears turning. When I said goodbye to work Sarah almost one year ago, I pretty much put her away for good. At least for a good 4 or 5 years until Gideon is in school. But the what ifs got me thinking. I loved working, really I did. I enjoyed most every aspect of my job, and did it well. I vividly remember dressing daily for something, each day outfitted in a sassy skirt and top. Matching shoes and purse. The works. I felt good. I felt important. I remember walking in my heels across the marble floor of our office building each morning, coffee in hand, and hearing the click clack of my shoes on the floor. Each click spoke volumes as to me as a person. "I am a working woman. I have a carefree, kid free life. I have disposable income and dinner plans." And each day I'd click clack to the fourth floor and start my day. Until one day the click clacks started echoing something different. Replaced where hollow sounds of "my life is wonderful, why am I not so happy. My husband is great, our life is great, but something is missing." Then along came Gideon. Who knew a 19 pound spitting, crying, climbing, chewing, monster was what was missing? And then giving up the heels, the carefree plans, the long bubble baths whenever I wanted, didn't seem so bad. Most days now I wear flip flops through the house. Each thwarp of my sandal now echos a very different life. "20 minutes until naptime is over, get moving on the chores! No! No! No! said a thousand times. And various kid show theme songs sung over and over in my head, with each step I take. Things are so much different now. At this point in my life I never expected to be a mother. After a few years of trying, I'd pretty much given up. And then along came Gideon and changed everything. I now measure everything by what time naps start and stop. I gauge going out to dinner on many factors now- finances, mood of my kiddo, general loudness of the restaurant we're about to invade. Everything in my life now is carefully planned. It is so much different than it once was. And I wouldn't change it for anything. The highlight of my day is seeing Gideon's smiling face when he wakes up in the morning. There are days that my hair stays in a pony tail and I don't even get coffee. There are days when my outfit is spit up on numerous times, and even times I don't change it. But then there are days when I can tell something has clicked with Gideon and he gets it- learns something new or masters a skill. Those days I feel like I'm on top of the world. Nope. Wouldn't go back to the heels if they doubled my salary. It was a nice week, thinking about what might have been. But there are just too many things I'd miss here to go back. No amount of money or prestige is worth that. When Gideon takes his first steps soon, I want to be there. And when he discovers ice cream, I want to share it with him. One day I know when he laces up his tennies and climbs on that big, yellow bus, I'll know it's time to dust off the heels and head off to click clack. Until then, I'll just thwarp around in my flip flops following an almost toddler around the world as he discovers all it has to offer.

Dedication

This past Sunday marked a special day in Gideon's life, and the lives of Noah and I. We had him dedicated to the Lord at our church. A dedication is not a baptism, as several folks have asked. It's merely a declaration in front of God, our family and our church family that we are going to raise our child in a Christian home. To me, it was basically a public "thank you" to God for giving me this precious gift. And a reminder that we are in charge of his upbringing, both physical and spiritual. Wow. Heavy stuff. Just when I think I've got this mom thing licked, something else is thrown my way. Not only am I responsible for his daily care, I now have to consider what happens after he's out of diapers and in the real world. I have to really work on raising a God-fearing, Jesus-loving boy who can stand up for himself and his beliefs. Did I mention wow? Thankfully I won't be doing it alone. Noah will be there, helping and chastising right along with me, along with Gideon's family, and his church family. This brings me great comfort. It's also nice to know that ultimately I'm not in charge and that's up to the Big Guy. All I need to do is focus on Him, pray daily for guidance (and believe me, I do!) and show Gideon how to lead a spirit-filled life by example. Whew. Enough rambling... Sunday came and the service was beautiful. Most of our family was there and came up with us to dedicate our boy, who was busy playing with a straw at the time. We prayed over him and asked God for his protection and guidance in our boy's life. We received a bible and well wishes. Good times were had by all. After church we headed to lunch with the entire family to celebrate the dedication and Noah's *ahem* 31st birthday. And everyone even mostly behaved! A true miracle! HA! It was another perfect day with our perfect boy. God has been so gracious in giving us our miracle, and we thank Him greatly. I am so glad that he has been there from the time we were first considering a baby, through the dark days of not being able to conceive one, and then the scary time we spent in the NICU praying our boy would be ok. And today, he's with us still, as I have had to use a few "no no's" on Gideon when he was actively getting into mischief, and then scooping him up into hugs to make him giggle. Yes, I believe it was all part of God's wonderful, perfect plan. And I praise Him for it!

Gideon & the goat

Today, Gideon and I and Carly and Emma went to the fair. Free day, so we decided to take the babies and see what's what. So much fun! I love the fair, Noah does not. So, my opportunities of going are limited, shall we say. But, Carly was game so off we went. We wandered around animal barns, food stands and the expo hall. By the way, nothing makes me feel like more of a failure than the ladies crafts in the expo hall. Quilts, dresses, and canned goods. Wow. I'm lucky if I can get to the grocery on a weekly basis. Moving on. Gideon and Emma had a blast! We returned to the car with dirty, sweaty babies so sleepy but with smiles on their faces. The goats were the highlight of our day, as seen here in the video. I think I'm going to try to talk Noah into getting one for the back yard. They're so cute! Wonder if he'll go for it? Humm....

Say cheese!

So yesterday was Gideon's 11 month milestone. I didn't blog. I was too busy chasing an 11 month old around the house. Ironic, isn't it. So my boy is now looming incredibly close to the big 12 months. I can't believe it. In some ways, this 11 months has gone so slowly as Noah and I were adjusting to this new person living with us. In others, it's just flown by. By now Gideon can do so many wonderful things. He's sitting, crawling and standing up all on his own. Well, a little help from the couch or coffee table on the standing. He's got 3 and a half teeth and a wonderful smile. He's saying "mama", "dada", "ga ga", "emma" and "hi" now. The latter we early only occasionally. He's also saying "vroom vroom" after a recent trip on Gramma Sandy's mule. So cute! He's beginning to play with toys, really play with them, and you can just watch his brain working all the time. Watching, absorbing, considering. He is amazing in every way. Today, mom and I took him to the park to meet this photographer for his 11 month photos. I found her on craigslist, and as only craigslist can bring, she was a nut case. Still, the photos came out pretty well. And the best part was they were free. She's trying to build her portfolio so she chose Gideon out of numerous babies to get a free photo session. Yea, that's my proud momma brag coming out! Anyway, enjoy. Gideon and I will just be hanging out, learning new stuff and rocking it towards 1!

We rockstar'd the place

Milestones seem to be Gideon's newest "thing". Seems everyday he's into something new. New sounds, new moves, new curiosities. Everyday brings my boy closer to manhood. Yesterday was no exception. Yesterday brought Gideon a new babysitter. Gramma Sandy headed down to sit with our boy while Noah and I and the Winters took in a lazy Sunday afternoon baseball game sans kids. Talk about nice! Sure, there were crying babies around us, but they weren't ours! Even though Carly and I did exchange tips on parenting while out. Sigh. Just can't escape motherhood, no matter how hard you try. But, while mom and dad were away, the kid and Gramma were at play! I don't quite know what went down while we were gone, but when we came back, we were met with a toy-strewn house and 2 happy faces. What a time they had romping from room to room. I can only imagine how much fun Gideon had showing Gramma all his latest findings. I hear he had quite the time crawling around and watching her follow him. Great mental image! How blessed we are to have not one, not two, but three grandmas who love our boy so much! And yesterday pretty much sealed the deal for Gramma too, as if she needed more fuel to add to her fire for Gideon. I know she loves our boy so very much. As he grows and changes, I am so excited to see these grown people who Noah and I love so much, loving our child right along with us. I know there are many more afternoons and evenings waiting for Gideon and his Gramma without us around that will just be filled with dirt, fun and memories. I am so excited for my boy!

The pony's been ordered

Today was the day my sweet mother has been waiting for. Waiting 2-*ahem*9 years for. She has been dubbed "ga ga". Yes, Gideon in all his wonder, made her the proudest Grandmother in the universe this afternoon when he uttered the words she's been longing to hear. What a hoot! She's been working with him for weeks, bless her heart, saying "grandma, grandma, grandma" over and over. He'd just give her a cockeyed grin and go about his business of saying "mama" or "dada" or his newest favorite, "vroom vroom". Not a "g" in sight. Until today. As she was leaving, he looked at her and said, in total clarity, "ga ga". You should have seen her face! I will remember that face for all my life. Utter awe. Complete and perfect love. I guess with grandkids, you get a second chance living out your own early mothering days. You own children's babyhood. I know she loves Gideon with a fire and passion that rivals mine, but to see her get her wish, a moniker, was just priceless. Tonight I know she's still beaming. And tomorrow, it will be the first story she tells to her friends at work, around her desk thats strewn with various pictures of her boy from birth to now. What a sweet, sweet day it was for our Ga Ga!

Spoiled

Today we cleaned the house together. I love Mondays for this reason. I pulled out the trusty sling and off we went. I handed you a clean dust cloth while I used the dirty one. We talked about life, people in the pictures we were dusting, and assassinating dust bunnies with the vacuum. The latter had you giggling up a storm when I would make the silly sounds to show you how the bunnies would meet their demise. You are amazing! We went from room to room, you and I. Creating clean, discussing dinner plans, joking around. I love these times with you. Just you and me. I can't help but wonder how much longer you'll find mom's jokes funny, or want to spend the day cleaning with me. Around 11 o'clock, with the house close to being done, I put you in your crib. Schedules, you know. You start to fuss, which is unusual for this nap. I give you 5 minutes. Still fussing. I decide to sling you once again and tackle those bunnies with the vacuum. In my mind I know if I give you another few minutes you'll quiet down. In my heart there is a race against time and honestly, I'm just not ready to put you down yet. Selfish, I know. So we vacuum, you holding the cord and singing your "vacuum and mower" song you always sing when we're doing something loud. I take a few minutes here and there to touch your sweet head or pat your little bottom. I relish in this time. I feel like I am playing a game of "beat the clock" with your childhood. I need to cram as much baby as I can into the next few months. You'll be 1 soon. A toddler. A real, live toddler. I cannot fathom it. I know that the future holds many more cuddles, giggles and smiles for mom, but I also know that unless God has a wicked sense of humor, you are going to be our only baby. I'm ok with that, it was part my idea. We reached perfection, why try again? ;) But, I also know that the days of holding a tiny newborn of my very own are gone, and so are the days of the sweet, chubby 6 month old who still stays in one place when you put him down. This 10 month, almost 11 month baby boy that I have now is wonderful. You explore things, you're starting to play games and you love to snuggle at night. But you'll soon be replaced by a toddler with his own mind. And one day that toddler will be replaced with a child who doesn't necessarily want to spend the day cleaning with his momma. So today, I grabbed you. Held on tight and didn't let go. I relished in your babyness a little while longer. I broke the schedule. All because you wanted momma. Yes Gideon, momma is very spoiled.

This time a year ago...

This time a year ago, I was miserable. It wasn't due to pregnancy, although that wasn't a picnic either. It was because this time a year ago we mourned the loss of a wonderful member of our O'Reilly clan. Tim O'Reilly. Gideon's great uncle. Noah's uncle that was great. Gramma Sandy's beloved husband. He was a wonderful man and I am so blessed to have known him for the brief time I did. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of when Tim went to be with the Lord. We celebrated in Plevna (the center of the universe) with our family, close friends and the ABATE instructors Tim was so close with. What a group! From bikers dressed in leathers to Mennonite women in homespun dresses and caps, a hodge podge group of people all gathered together in honor of one wonderful man. It was quite a sight! As we gathered at the cemetary to create a circle and pray, I fully embraced how precious life is. Our nephews giggling in the background, and getting a repremand from their father. The buzz of a plan in the distance. A lawn mower. Gideon cooing at Noah's feet. It was a perfect day. The sun was shining, our prayers were lifted to heaven, everyone was gathered. It was just beautiful. I think Tim would have been humbled to know he'd touched so many lives. What was wonderful about this wonderful man was that he didn't know he was all that great. We all did though. He was just an honest guy who loved his wife and family. Cared for his friends and neighbors and would always lend a helping hand. In living his life, he touched so many people. What a blessing he was to everyone around him.

I can remember so clearly last March, the weekend before we found out we were expecting Gideon, we went to Plevna and Noah and Tim worked all day (and night! An O'Reilly man never stops working till the work is done!) on soap molds for my creative outlet. They discussed, planned, tried, errored and finally came up with a wonderful mold. I was so touched that weekend that Tim took the time to help Noah with my silly endevor. I knew my husband loved me that much, but to know that Tim did really made me feel special. I think he had that effect on a lot of people. I will never forget that weekend. I keep it filed in my memory bank for future reflection. I have taken it out several times already. Today I added a few more Tim stories to my memory bank.

We also spent the day with Tim's lovely wife Sandy. Gideon's honorary Gramma. She enjoyed spending the day with a blonde haired, blue eyed young man while receiving many hugs and well wishes. Gideon loves his Gramma! I think she's rather fond of him too. Babies are amazing creatures. They have a wonderful ability to heal. I like to think he helped in that a little bit. I am so thankful Sandy is in Gideon's life. She is an amazing person. She is everything her husband was, and has carried on his legacy so beautifully. I know that God and his infinite wisdom knew she'd rise from the ashes even without her Tim. She hurts, but she serves her Father and gives him the glory. I am so thankful Gideon will have her in his life as he grows. I know she keeps the best Tim stories, and will dole them out any time he wants one. Like a fairy tail, he'll be the knight in shining armor in all her stories. And I know with her help, we will grow a wonderful little boy into a fine O'Reilly man.

As I sit here quietly in my bedroom while Noah feeds Gideon his last bottle of the night, I feel so very blessed to have been a part of today and celebrate such a wonderful soul. I know heaven is that much better (and funnier!) with Tim there to liven up the place. And I look so forward to one day seeing him again with our Heavenly Father. Until then, I know Sandy, and our entire family, will continue to just live life, love each other, help our neighbors and friends and do what's right. Just like Tim.

I love you, you love me....

Yes my friends, that is the opening line to Barney's theme song. How do I know it you ask? Because it plays in my head daily now. Welcome to the Barney stage. Somehow I thought I'd get until at least age 2 before we developed a fondness for gigantic creepy puppets dancing and singing. I was wrong. A couple of times a week when Gideon is particularly cranky, we put Barney on for 5 or 10 minutes to chill out. We sit, we snuggle, we prepare for our nap. It is a lovely time. I suppose I should take the credit for his love of the purple beast since I wield the remote. I digress. One day while flipping, I came upon Barney. Instant attraction. Gideon sat up, took notice and fell in love. Sigh... Since then, I've tried Sesame Street, Veggie Tails and something called the Backyardigans, which in my opinion, is the most darling childrens show ever! Gideon will have none of this. If it ain't purple, dancing like a lunatic and singing stupid songs, he's not into it. What have I done? Noah wants me to find some sort of Christian Barney. Some giant muppet that preaches to our boy about the love of Jesus. Yikes, that thought scares even me. None the less, they don't make one. I have looked. Recently I was at a church sale and came upon a stuffed Barney toy, and his friend Baby Bop. I swiped them quickly. Gideon now carries Barney around by the tail in his mouth like some derranged lioness. I think what we have here is a case of first love. Hopefully he'll out grow it soon. I hear Thomas comes after Barney, then on to Transformers and Batman. Sheesh. I have entered into boyland. It is quite foreign to me. I was My Little Pony and Rainbow Bright all the way. I hope I can survive this phase and get to the next, where I'll likely go mad singing that theme song all day long too.

Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna go through it together...

I have this wonderful invention. It is a piece of cloth. It allows me to go anywhere, do anything, with my little one in tow. It is my sling, and next to my stroller obsession, it is my most favorite baby invention. It was a long search, but I finally found a sling that is just perfect for Gideon and I. And I wouldn't part with it for all the ergo carriers in the world. I lucked out and found it online for cheap and while the color isn't my favorite, it works so darn well. Those Ubangi women are on to something, wearing their babies all day long. Gideon and I go everywhere in our sling. I love it because I get my hands back and can get my work done. He loves it because he's up high and near momma. Stellar! Recently we went to the zoo with our good friends, the Winters, and when Gideon got a little cranky, into the sling he went. He spied on monkeys and elephants for a while and then drifted off to sleep. Lovely! This past weekend we went to a wedding and after a full day of fun, our boy was so tired and cranky. But, there was just too much fun going on for him to go to sleep. So, I broke out the sling and he soon conked out. Like baby crack, this sling is. Wonderful! It is also the only way my house gets vacuumed and mopped and my yard gets mowed. I've even been known to cook dinner in my sling and hose off the deck. It is a marvelous invention, this little tube of fabric.

Gideon Giggles

Just makes me smile every time I see it! I love this kid!

10 down, 2 to go!

Today is the Giddy-man's 10 month milestone. Hard to believe he's been here 10 months. How he has changed our lives! Mostly for the better even! ;) It's been a rough couple of weeks. As he's growing and changing, he's having a hard time with things. Understandable, but sure makes for a rough ride for mom and dad. Currently he's "crying it out" trying to go to sleep. Sigh. I sure hope this run ends soon. Until then, I'll try to focus on the good things our little guy has going for him. He's been crawling for a few weeks now and has pretty much perfected it. He can scoot from room to room in seconds flat. Keeps mom on her toes. He's also sitting up by himself and pulling up on things. Can cruising be far behind? Eish! Each morning he greets me with a toothy grin while standing in his crib. I think he's rather proud of himself. He should be. He's come quite a way from the little 4 pound critter he once was. Today was a rainy Saturday, but we still made the most out of it. We went garage saleing in the am, and then dinner at the Chinese place with Grandma and Grandpa for dinner. A good day for our little guy. I'm posting a few pictures taken this past week at the park. Noah got home early one night and we decided to go for a little walk. What a happy fella we had! The pictures tell the story. Good times were had by all!

4th of July Fun

Yesterday, Gideon experienced his first Fourth of July celebration! Our all American boy had a blast! Each year, Lawrence has a parade that comes right down our street, and then fireworks follow in the evening. So we invited everyone we knew with little ones (and even some without!) to the parade in the morning and a cookout afterward. What a time we had! Children and babies everywhere! The fruit punch was flowing, and the hot dogs couldn't be cooked fast enough. My trash was overflowing with diapers by the time the day was done. Whew! Once again, I couldn't help but remember how things have changed now that Gideon's in our life. Noah and I used to hold an annual Christmas party each year. That was our big "thing". We'd invite everyone without children, and our list of party supplies was completely different than yesterday's necessities. How things have changed! Now, our Christmas party was never wild and crazy, but it was definitely a lot more "adult" than yesterday's shindig. Yesterday, we served kid-friendly fare, and had endless sugar free beverages. Instead of having a place for our smoking guests to go like in Christmas parties of years past, we now had a quiet area for mom's to take their babies. So much has changed! But, I think for the better. It is so wonderful watching Gideon experience all of his firsts. I am so thankful to get to see things through his eyes. He loved the parade, and especially watching all the other kids scramble for the candy. The fireworks were a big hit too, but they were past his bedtime, so his interest wasn't held too long. I think overall, it was a roaring success. Adjusting to life as a parent has been quite a wild ride so far. But a good one. I can't wait for the next big adventure! The pictures I'm attaching are of Gideon and Emma, of course.

My alarm clock

Some days being a mom is... rough. Insert hard, tiring, boring, lonely, exhausting, messy, or repetitive, here! But, it is also the most rewarding job I've ever had, and I love it dearly. What a blessing it is that I get to be here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week witnessing my little guy growing up. Learning his world, learning new things. It's pretty doggone awesome! But, don't get me wrong. There are days! Days when I consider selling him on ebay, or just heading out and joining the circus myself. Days when Noah can't get home early enough, and those are usually the days he works the longest. Lately Gideon hasn't been sleeping all that well. Yup, that's putting it nicely. I call it "faux mmom" speak. As in, "Little Charlie is... spirited" Code for "the child is a hellion! So when I say Gideon's not sleeping well, what I really mean is the child isn't sleeping at all! He's teething, it's not his fault, but it sure makes for some looong nights. And magically, his father can sleep through it all. Man ears are amazing! But, as I glance at my now mobile son, actually crawling around the house like a big kid now, and watch him learn new sounds and amaze me what what he knows (currently working on the high five with dad, and pulling up (heaven help us!) I know that in 15 or 20 years, I'll not remember these sleepless nights, these tough days with a cranky teething baby. I'll remember chubby 9 month hands crawling up Mt. Mommy and sweet baby smiles and slobbery kisses. I'll remember watching him work so hard at something and finally getting it and looking at me with such smug delight, as if saying, "Yup, I finally did it!". And I'll remember waking up to sweet baby noises and coos, going in and getting the biggest smile of the day, with 2 little teeth grinning out at me and those chubby hands reaching up. I'm pretty sure a 15 year old won't wake up quite that cute. Those will be the memories I take from Gideon's babyhood, a mere pit stop on the road map of his life. As we were watching the news last night, there was a segment on newborns and Noah and I both began talking about how it was already getting hard to remember Gideon at that age. So tiny. Was it all a dream? I already cannot remember a time where he wasn't so active. So, while sleepless nights and long days come with the territory, I'll take em'. It's worth it to share in something so wonderful as a day in the life of a 9 month old.

Hope you enjoy the video. Sorry it's upside down- whoops! This is what wakes me up daily, and I wouldn't change it for the world!

#1 Dad!

Today is father's day. A day to celebrate Gideon's wonderful father. We woke our dad up this morning with a kiss and snuggle in the big bed. Noah loved his homemade gifts that followed, and like the true wonderful father he is, got Gideon ready for church while I got ready myself. While sitting in church, I remembered a Sunday of long ago. I was maybe 17 or 18, with Noah in the church we attend now, and had come as guests of his family. I don't remember the reason, but I remember it was one of my first times at their church and I remember the entire family was there. I remember seeing Pat at the head of the pew. In his flannel shirt and jeans. Singing quietly, not making a big spectacle of himself. His family gathered near him. The girls couldn't have been more than 13 or 14, and Pat kept a watchful eye on them. I remember being fascinated by this scene, the family at church. I don't know why. We didn't really attend church when I was growing up, so maybe I was fascinated due to the longing in my heart that Jesus placed there. Not sure. But I do so vividly remember that scene. And I'd totally forgotten about it until this morning, sitting in the pew with my husband. Flannel shirt and jeans on. Singing ever so quietly, while holding our son. I am so in awe at how wonderful of a father he is. Not only is he the playmate, but he's my helpmate as well. Quick to change a diaper, or walk a fussy baby at midnight. Did his father do these same things when he was a baby? I can only think so. Noah is so much like his father. I can't imagine Pat not having such a vested interest in his children. While I did not know him well, I feel that I have a second chance with Noah. I know he possesses so many of the wonderful traits his father had. I know that Noah is a bit sad on days like this, where we rise up and honor our fathers. And I know his father would have been so very proud of the man he's turned into, and the father he's becoming. I thank God for wonderful fathers like Pat who turn their own children into wonderful fathers as well. I hope one day when Gideon is sitting with his own child, gently reprimanding him, or just holding him close and laughing at his baby ways, he'll remember everything his father taught him, and how very much he loved him.

9 months according to Grandma

Today Gideon is 9 months old! When did that happen? I had a blog all planned out for this morning, praising my boy for all he's learned and how far he's come, but then I opened my email and found one waiting with the subject, "For Gideon" from his Grandma. It was just so perfect, I decided to post it here. Seems like the perfect words for a big boy's 9 month milestone!

Happy 9 months, Gideon!! I hope you and mama have lots of fun things planned to do today to celebrate this most important milestone. I can't believe how much you've grown in such a short time and how many wonderful things you've learned. It's amazing to remember when you were first born that you couldn't do anything for yourself. And now look at you! You can grab toys and get them to your mouth. You're almost crawling and starting to try to stand up. You've mastered your bouncy and walker. You're starting to eat grown up food and seems like you're nearly done with the bottle. My most favorite thing that you've learned is to smile at Grandma!! Grandma and Grandpa love you so very, very much. Happy 9 months!!

Sacrifice

It is 10 till 8 and I'm sitting here with a content little boy playing on the floor beside me. He'll go down in a few minutes for the last nap of the day. It's been a busy one, and I'm looking forward to the break to be honest. Such busy hands a 9 month old has! Noah just called and is in route to the house. He tries to get home around 7, but sometimes, ok most times, that doesn't happen. I feel so blessed to have a husband as hardworking as Noah. He is wonderful. And it hurts my heart that tonight is another night he'll not really spend much time with his son. He'll swoop in just in time to eat dinner and give Gideon his last feeding of the night. Then, it will all start again tomorrow. This amazes me. He is so strong. So willing to give of himself so we are taken care of. Does he know how much we appreciate him? Do we tell him enough? I'd like to think so. I hope that he sees how hard I try to hold down the fort while he's away. How I hold dinner and wait for him so he can have a hot meal. How I try to have everything done so that when he gets home, there is nothing for him to do but relax. I know he sees these things because he's quick with the compliment. I hope that I am doing enough here at home to show him how much we appreciate the sacrifices he makes for us. And I hope that Gideon will grow up exactly like his father. While Noah is short on time, he makes it count when he's here. The minute he walks in the door, it's all about Gideon and I. He is wonderful like that. I know that he'll spread himself thin trying to make it to ball games and school performances as Gideon gets older. I hope Gideon will know how much his dad truly does for him. Being a father must be so incredibly difficult. You have to be away so much of the time trying to provide for your family that you miss so much. I know Noah lives vicariously through this blog; he says he loves reading what Gideon and I get into on a daily basis. He loves the pictures I take and the stories I tell. He loves Gideon so much, it astonishes me. I knew he'd be a wonderful father, but I truly had no idea. Gideon is a lucky boy. He is now in bed, I hear little faint noises from his room as he is falling asleep. Noah will be here soon and I've got to finish up dinner. I can't wait to share it with him and hear all about his day. We are so lucky to have him in our lives!

Momma's little sous-chef

I'm not the greatest cook, I'll be the first to admit. But, I'm slowly figuring out my way around the kitchen. Being at home with time on your hands helps. My newest culinary feat- the marinade. I am all about it! I've been marinading anything that stands still lately. So, while I was putting tonight's culinary adventure together, I had a little help. Yup, momma's little sous-chef- if you can't tell, that is Gideon eating a sponge and holding a spatula. The latter, his newest favorite toy. Yup, all that money spent on brightly colored Baby Einstein stuff and the kid picks a spatula. What can I say? He's special! ;)

The difference between boys and girls

It is summer time now. Gideon is more mobile and scooting everywhere. He is getting dirty. He needs new sandals. He has a blue pair, I'd like a neutral pair. While out shopping with Grandma, Gideon and I spy a lovely brown pair at Stride Rite on sale (sale!!) They are sitting with the other 4 or 5 pairs of boys shoes. After inspecting them, I cast my glance to the "other" side of the store. The pink side. Now, for the most part, I am content shopping in the blue department. 2 racks of clothing, not a lot of options, easy enough. But every once in a while, I allow myself to gaze longingly at the pink side. So many choices! Skirts, rompers, butterflies and tank tops! The selection is amazing! So, while at Stride Rite, I allow myself the luxury of looking over at the vast array of girls shoes. Sandals, open toed, tennis shoes, and everything in between. Most options available in several colors! Color! Not just blue or brown! Amazing! I pick up the cutest pair of pink polka dot wedge sandals in a size 1. Yup, 1. That's roughly the length of 3/4ths of your pointer finger. How precious!! And then I think, if I had a girl, I would have to buy these. These would be a need, not a want. And I would have to justify my purchase to Noah, who loves me, but would not agree with me that they were a need. And then I'd need an outfit to go with them. An outfit of just the right pink. They weren't barbie pink, they weren't mauve, they were watermelon pink. Yup, that would take some hunting. While all of these choices swam in my head, I glanced back at Gideon. In a simple tee shirt and shorts, eating his new brown sandal. Thank heaven for little boys! I don't think I'm up to all that girliness, regardless of how cute it is. I think if I need a pink fix, I'll head on over to Carly's and play dress-up with Caitlin and Emma. Caitlin is even more pink that I am, and Emma's working on it. And when Carly's head starts to pound at the thought of matching one of the girls shoes to their outfits, I will gladly let her roam around in Gideon's fuss-free closet. Full of browns, blues and greys.

Splish Splash!

Yesterday I decided to take Gideon for his 9 month photos. Wow. 9 months. I can hardly believe it. What a milestone. Seems he's reaching them daily at this point. He was a little grouch until they turned the camera on. Then it was lights, camera, Gideon! He is becoming quite the little ham. Well, when your mom takes your photo at least 10 times a day, I guess you get that way. I think his first word may just be "cheese!" It's amazing how much he's doing now. Sitting, rolling, scooting and almost crawling. What a miracle he is! Gramma Sandy was here this weekend and summed it up wonderfully, it's like he was asleep for so long and now he's just everywhere! Quite true! Some days I wish he'd slow down, but I'm trying to keep up. I'm trying to relish in every moment, every milestone, every new adventure. We put his baby pool up over the weekend, and have come to realize he is quite the little fish. He loves the pool! He crawls around and tries to chase this little duck we have floating. So cute! And in his cammo swim trunks he looks so much like a little boy. Sigh.

On the road again

Gideon, Noah and I just got back from our first road trip to Chicago. We headed north on Saturday morning to visit our great grandma and grandpa Wittrock. Noah teased on the way home that I'd already compiled a blog in my head, and would be itching to write as soon as I got home. He was right! I had a great series of silly events all mapped out and ready to blog about like forgetting our toothbrush (ick!) and Gideon's middle of the night freak out. But, after downloading our pictures and movies from the trip, I thought I'd let those be worth the 1,000 words I'd already written in my head. These videos just prove that babies are truly magical creatures. They can make everyone feel better, laugh more and lighten hearts. Here is Gideon with his great grandma Rie Rie and his great grandpa Ern. I love it! These videos and pictures are so precious! I am so honored that Gideon was able to meet his great grandparents, and even more honored that they were so impressed with him. They are truly wonderful people. They are kind and loving; they possess so many values and ideals I want my boy to inherit. While the weekend was indeed filled with wacky stories I could most definitely blog about, I think what I will most take away was the awesomeness of the experience. On the way home, it dawned on me that this meeting would be like meeting with Gideon's children's children. Wow! I can't even possibly fathom. So, here they are. A boy and his grandparents. The videos are a bit dark, but lovely none the less. I told Noah he must now learn the pony boy song. And Grandma's giggles will long be with me. What a wonderfully perfect weekend!

Diapering an octopus!

Have you ever tried changing an octopus? Well, I haven't either, but I'm fairly sure that changing Gideon is as close as it gets! Lately our boy is all legs, arms and twists once you get that diaper off. It's madness! So, Noah and I have started our parenting and have begun using the "dad voice" to get him to lay flat and let us diaper him. Well, in my case, the "mom voice". Yeah, uh, not so much working here. For some reason, the "dad voice" works way better than the "mom voice". He just grins at me. Stinker! We have finally gotten him to the point where he starts to cry but lays there so you can change him. Yup, this parenting stuff is a breeze (sarcasm, people!) Today the little rascal got a little feisty during one of his changes so I whipped out the "GIDEON TIMOTHY!" That got his attention. Note I did not get to Patrick, I'll save that in reserve for when he's really bad! What struck me was that when we were choosing names, we tried out the full name to see how it sounded. Noah and I joked that a good full name would help in discipline and that we'd be using it enough, it ought to sound good when yelled at the top of the lungs after a naughty boy! We tried all sorts of combinations, but Gideon Timothy Patrick stuck. It was quite a surreal moment this morning when using it. One of those "oh wow, we really do have a baby" moments. I know it's silly. You'd think after almost 9 months I wouldn't have those moments. Well, I do. We'll get this diaper thing down, along with all the other curve balls he'll eventually throw at is. One day at a time, one change at a time. It's just a good thing he's so darn cute! Notice the tee shirt. Yup, he sure is!

What happens at Grandma's...

Gideon has the best grandparents. Hands down, they're wonderful. While I'll eventually blog about them all, today's ramblings are aimed at Grandma and Grandpa Cazzell. Each month, they keep Gideon one Saturday night to bond with him while Noah and I have a date night. Their idea. See why they're so awesome? Anyway, they claim they like to bond with him, but I secretly think they like spoiling him rotten! These are the grandparents who have given him his first taste of ice cream and coke, and recently purchased a tiny baby swimming pool for him to splash around in. Yup. Bonding. Usually it's the same old routine. We drop him off around 4 Saturday afternoon and return around noon Sunday to a fresh faced youngster and 2 smiling, doting grandparents. They offer us coffee and we discuss how things went. My mom has the same answers each time- everything was great, Gideon was an angel, didn't wake up once, ate exactly how he was supposed to, etc. My dad nods in agreement. We then pack up the boy and his 8,000 pounds of luggage and head for home. Good times. This past weekend was slightly, different? We arrived at 4 with a cranky little guy. I hoped (prayed?) he'd straighten up and fly right for Grandma. We went on our way. We returned around noon Sunday to quite a sight! Grandma's hair was quite disheveled and Grandpa's eyes were bloodshot! Our little angel was just grinning. Were those horns I saw under his sweet blonde hair? I could only imagine what he put them through! When I asked, my mother mustered all the tact she could and simply said, "Gideon didn't have a great night". Note she did not say, "You and Noah have spawned evil. Please do not ever bring him back". I think she had reason to state the latter. When I asked how it went, my dad proceeded to tell me he'd had a long talk with Gideon about when little boys should go to sleep. This was at 2 am. My mom mentioned that he didn't want to sleep at all, and that he'd pretty much been up since we dropped him off. Ever the optimist, she said she was sure he'd sleep great for us that afternoon. Bless her heart! Gideon can have those days where he boycotts sleep, and they're rough! I can only imagine for grandparents not used to having a baby not sleeping in their house, it was even rougher! Bless them for taking one for the team and not calling us to wave the white flag in defeat. So we loaded up Gideon. I could tell he was ready for a nap, and so were Grandma and Grandpa! Once home, our little man was an angel! Slept when he should have slept, was cute and perky and went right to bed. Little stinker! About 2 hours after we left with Gideon, I called my mom to ask her a question, and when my dad answered, I said, joking of coarse, "We need to bring Gideon back down tonight for another sleepover", and without missing a beat, my dad said, "Sure thing, come on down, we'd love to see him!" Is that love or what?

Jump around!

Ok, so Gideon and I are in a rather silly mood today. He's been all smiles (and drool!) since that second tooth finally popped through last night. So we decided to do a little jumping around in our cousin Jack's borrowed jumperoo. Couldn't help but tape it as it is quite the sight! He loves this thing! What a wonderful invention! Anyway, please enjoy the little wild man in action!

A letter to my son

You amaze me. You are so much fun to have around. I am so glad you are in my life. This morning as we were sharing breakfast, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of love for you. I look at you, getting so big and learning so much and I am astounded. Humbled, even, that you are mine. That I get to share it all with you. You have 2 teeth now. Dad discovered the second one last night. You are so close to crawling, you can taste it. You can sit up all by yourself. You are a super hero! And you are all mine! I so much enjoyed taking you to the zoo the other day, and watching your expression as you saw for the first time, all of the critters of the world. Your eyes, wide with wonder, while you took it all in. I was giddy for you. I couldn't wait for you to see it all. I knew you would love it. And last night, while we read our books with daddy, you rubbed his head with one hand and firmly grasped my skirt in your other. So sweet! You looked at the pictures while dad read the story and you sat in my lap and relaxed. Simple evening, yet it meant so much to me. I am worried you're growing too fast. Can you slow down please? I don't want to miss any of it. Blogs and cameras and memories can only do so much. One day I think I'll turn around and you'll be all grown up. I have so much planned for us, Gideon. So many mud puddles to stomp in, forts to build and worms to dig up. So many books to read, adventures to share and ice cream to eat. I dream of Friday night snuggles in the big bed while watching silly kids movies you'll pick out, and Saturday mornings spent at the ball park cheering you on. I know it will all be here before we both know it, but I secretly hope it will wait a bit longer. Walking with you, holding you. Knowing you need me for every little thing right now. That's a very good feeling. I don't know if I'm ready to give that up just yet. I know, just like you are growing and developing at just the right pace, I'll grow with you and be ready for all your next steps. We can grow together. It will be our biggest adventure yet. I love you, my son. My joy. My light and life. Just wanted you to know that today.

Time flies

It is late for a Sunday. 8 pm and dinner still isn't done. Gideon's napping peacefully, finally, after a long day of fun. We started the day off at church with the Winters for Emma's dedication. It was a beautiful service in which we promised to honor God and help Emma along the way find her Savior. We vowed to be there for her and pray for her along her journey. What really struck me was that Carly and I were in the church of her old youth minister. We had come full circle. I remember going to church with Carly soon after she and I became friends. I remember seeing glimpses of Jesus through her youth pastor, Toby, and learning so much. While it was Noah who ultimately brought me to Christ, Carly and her youth minister definitely introduced me to Him. What I found so profound was that we were sitting there now as women with children of our own to worry about, where once sat 2 young girls. Amazing. God is good. He brought Carly and I together and has allowed us a friendship that is most precious. I couldn't help but reflect back to those 2 carefree girls who'd sat through Toby's class once before and wonder if Gideon and Emma might share a special relationship like their mothers.

And then this evening Noah, Gideon and I made a special trip back to where we first started out. The NICU at Community North. We brought cookies and joked along the way. Joking to cover the nervous feelings I had at going back. How would it feel to see it all again? To see our wonderful nurses again. While we had some of the finest ladies caring for Gideon, I knew it might be hard to see them again. It's been 7 wonderful months since Gideon's release from the NICU, yet those first feelings of terror and dread still bubble up at times. I knew it would not be an easy visit. I prayed that God would give me strength to go back once again to show off his wonderful works. I prayed I'd be able to push the nervousness back just for a bit, to make it through the visit. As the elevator doors opened to floor 6, it all came rushing back. The smell, the look of the lobby, everything. But, by God's grace, it was ok. As the big double doors opened mechanically, revealing the inner workings of the NICU, I made my way back to the nurses station with fresh cookies in hand. As I passed all of the rooms lined up, a trip I'd taken hundreds of times, I took a quick second to peek in at the residents. So small! Such a distant memory it is of Gideon being that tiny. I listened to the whir of machines, saw the monitors blinking away, the far off distance of the horizon out the 6th story window. How I remembered sitting and looking out that window so many times, imagining being anywhere but there with my baby. It is so easy now to take for granted just picking him up and going. How far we've come. After locating the nurses station and announcing my presence, I made my way back out of the NICU world and into the lobby to wait. Somehow this time it felt so different. I was an intruder. A visitor. Not a resident. No longer was I one of them. As scared as I was to go back, it was totally different this time. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and waited with my two boys for our nurses to come out and say hello. I happily shared Gideon's current stats (17 pounds, first tooth came today, rolling over like a champ!) and listened as they praised my boy for being so wonderful. It felt good. Heck, it felt great! Now once again at home, back in my now normal world, where diapers and dishes are king, I feel so smug to have been able to weather the storm and live to tell about it. What a truly wonderful day today was.

Medium rare, please!

Yup, today is the day Noah's been waiting for. Gideon woke up after a rather fitful night with a big, fat tooth! Noah immediately began promising meat for our big boy. Gideon just giggled. Our boy is growing up fast. For a quick moment, all sorts of firsts flashed before my eyes and it was bittersweet. But for today, we will relish in our son growing up and enjoy it. We're headed to church today to watch Carly and Micah give Emma back to God in a dedication ceremony, and then off to the zoo for a day of fun with the Winters. Details, and pictures, surly to follow. The Son is shining, the day is perfect and we are going to enjoy it as a family! God is so good!

Good morning, sunshine!

I must be the luckiest woman in the world. I lead a charmed life. I have 2 men who adore me, and have wonderful ways of showing their affections. Last night, my darling husband came home late from work and tilled up my garden in preparation to plant this weekend. He knew how very important having a garden is to me, and has literally moved mountains to insure I have one. Then this morning, as my baby boy babbled from the next room alerting me he was ready to get up and start his day, I came in to find this- how precious is he? What woman wouldn't want a little alarm clock who looked this cute. Sigh. Just one of those great days to be alive. It may be rainy and bleak outside today, but my home is filled with sunshine and warmth!

Tricks are for kids

So our boy has mastered his latest trick- the sit. Yup, we are all about proper posture in this house! Check him out as he demonstrates his latest marvel.

Walk like a man

I hear very often from folks that Noah's blessed to have a son. That he will teach his son so much "manly" stuff. That Noah could never have stomached tea parties and estrogen if we'd had a girl. I smile, grin and chuckle to myself. Yes, all of those things are true, although I'm sure Noah would have been a perfect tea party guest (he's a big ol' teddy bear), but many of Gideon's early "manly" lessons have come from his momma. Yes, I know, shocking. If you know me, you know I am a girly girl. I like all things pink, I like shoes, I like to shop, and I hate getting dirty. And while all of that is true, it's also true that I wield a mean paint brush, can haul trash like the best of them and am quite the helpmate to my wonderful husband. I do all the yard work, and am a whiz at pressure washing. If something breaks, I attempt to fix it before calling in the calvary. I do not hesitate to hop in the man truck with my boy to go to the hardware store for something we're lacking. What I'm saying here is just as there is more to Noah than a rough, tough man, there is more to me than flowers and bows. I like the fact that I have a boy. I like the fact that he sees his mom tackle all sorts of projects while dad is at work. I like that he sees a strong woman working just as hard as his dad at making his house a home. The other day while I was hauling drywall and tile into the bed of the truck in preparation of going to the dump, I sat Gideon outside in his stroller so he could watch. We talked the entire time about how dusty the job was, how much daddy would appreciate our efforts, and just how much fun the dump would be. I loaded and sweated while Gideon chewed on his octopus and giggled. Seems fair enough. I also mentioned to him that this would be his job in a few years, so he'd better take notes. I hope one day in 10 or so years, while Gideon's out mowing the lawn or fixing the toilet, he'll remember who taught him those first valuable lessons about hard work. And I hope it will be his father and mother he remembers getting dirty!

Perfection

Several weeks ago, my mother-in-law snapped this picture of Gideon on the floor just as the sun was setting. Talk about right place, right time. It's perfect! And it shows how perfectly made my son is. I was praising our Father for his wonderful gift the other day, for 10 perfect fingers and toes, for beautiful blue eyes and curls in his hair. For strong legs and an even stronger personality. How great is our God for making such a wonderful creature! How blessed are Noah and I to watch him grow and teach him how to be a good person. How to love God and serve him faithfully. And the Lord brought this scripture to my heart while looking at my little boy. I think it sums up exactly what I am feeling at the moment.

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
Psalm 139:14

Payback

Ok, so I knew going into this whole pregnancy/baby thing there'd be sacrifices. I knew sleep would be one of them. What I didn't know was that I'd never get to sleep again! Ever!! From about 6 weeks pregnant I started not sleeping. Some nights it was worry over what was to come, others it was just up and down to go to the bathroom, but each and every night had me up at some point. Then came our little miracle and there went any hope of ever sleeping again. Silly me thought that around 5 months or so, babies started sleeping through the night. The whole night. Don't get me wrong, Gideon's a great little sleeper. Always has been. But, 99% of the time he's up for something at least once during the middle of the night. Usually just a pacifier will do, but there are nights it seems he's up all night long just waiting for me to fall asleep so he can wake me up. Seriously, I think he's laying in his crib plotting my demise. I think this because my mom brain has not had sufficient sleep in more than a year now. 1 year and 2.5 months to be exact. But who's counting? Certainly not me. I can't count that high without sleep. Last night as I was laying in bed trying to get back to sleep after a lovely wake up call around midnight for a dirty diaper, I began doing a little plotting of my own. I began to think back to all the times when I was a teenager and my mom would vacuum the house at 6 am. Or when my dad would choose 7 am on a Saturday as a great time to start a very loud home improvement project that included pressure washing something or power tools. At the time I figured it was just an annoying thing parents did, without much thought to me as a teenager. Now I know it was all planned perfectly. Probably when I was about 7 months old in fact. I can just see my parents sitting around at 2 am talking about all the loud things they'd do early on weekends when I was 16 years old. How do I know they did this? Because I do it with Noah. I am almost giddy thinking of all the early morning chores Noah and I can come up with when Gideon's 16. In fact, we might just give him a late curfew so he'll be extra tired the next day. Payback will be ours. One day. Insert evil laugh here.

Party down!

Gideon experienced another first over the weekend- his first birthday party! On Saturday, we headed to Jesse Isaacs second birthday party over at the church. We were one of the elite few invited (that is, folks with kids around Jesse's age!) It was a hot wheels theme, and was totally awesome! There was tape the tail on the donkey (pins were too dangerous) and pop the balloon game, cake and gifts. Our little man had a blast chewing on his shoe and taking it all in. Good times. Then on Sunday, we ventured up to beautiful Plevna for another birthday party. Kenny Shrock's 89th birthday. While there were no games played or gifts given, the cake was fantastic and the company even better! We spent a lovely afternoon hanging out with 2 of our grandmas and playing in the grass. Perfect summer day! Gideon even got a few tastes of icing from the delicious cake! Happy boy! What an eventful weekend for our boy! Between the parties, he stayed with grandma and grandma on an overnight while momma and dad had a date night. What wild and crazy adventures did we have? Dinner. By ourselves. With no one yelling at us. Followed up by a movie we didn't have to pause. It was heavenly! Enjoy the pictures of Gideon from his two parties! Popular guy!

Oh, the places you'll go!

Today was one of those glorious pre-summer days that are just perfect for being outdoors. It was in the 80's, there was a slight cool breeze, it was just perfect. Gideon and I decided to try out our new sun hat and sporty sandals and met up with Carly and Emma for a day at the park. After a ridiculously hard hike up the side of a mountain (ok, it was a trail along a neighborhood golf course, but it was a steep hill!) we decided to cool down and let the babies wiggle in the grass, as if they had done anything needing cooled down from- Gideon slept and Emma ate her toes. Whatever. These are a few snapshots from our outing. These two kids sure seem to dig one another. How cute are they?